What Questions are Okay to Ask Someone Living with an Invisible Illness?
Chances are, at least one person in your life is living with a chronic illness. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 6 out of 10 adults living in the United States live with a chronic illness, and 4 out of 10 have two or more chronic conditions.
If you don’t know prior about your loved one’s condition, you may have questions about their experience. As many may know, health can be a touchy subject. So, it's essential to consider which questions show your genuine interest in their chronic illness.
Before you talk with the chronic illness warrior in your life, here are some questions you can ask (and not ask).
Questions that are Okay to Ask Chronic Illness Warriors
Is it okay if I ask you about your illness?
It's best to get their consent to ask questions about their health. Do they feel comfortable sharing details about their health with you? Or would they instead keep that aspect of their life private? If they give you consent to ask about their chronic illness, you can keep the conversation going.
What is it like living with your chronic illness?
If you don’t have an invisible illness, you may not understand the challenges of living with one. But, with this question, they may give you a different perspective of what their day-to-day life of living with a chronic illness is like for them.
What’s the biggest challenge you’re facing with your condition?
Living with a chronic illness can bring challenges that can affect a person’s mental, emotional, and physical health. With this in mind, you may be curious about what difficulties they may be facing. This question is a respectful way to understand how chronic illnesses can cause symptoms that aren’t always visible to the naked eye.
In what ways can I support you?
If you share a close relationship with this individual, you may want to provide them with as much care and support as possible, but you aren’t sure what that entails. For example, they may need someone to transport them to and from doctor appointments, help out with household chores, or be a listening ear. Find out what their needs are so that you can be a great support to them.
Questions to Avoid Asking People Living with a Chronic Illness
Some questions can come off as disrespectful to people living with a chronic illness. While there may not be any ill intent behind these questions, it’s crucial to use language that isn’t offensive. Remember, asking your loved one about their chronic illness should be a healthy conversation that improves your understanding of their illness rather than disrespecting their health experiences.
Are you really experiencing pain?
Often, many people living with chronic illnesses may not display physical signs of pain and discomfort. But, because their chronic illness symptoms are not visible doesn’t mean they’re lying about their condition. As their support system, you’re there to be a shoulder to lean on, not a skeptic about their condition.
Can your condition kill you?
It’s presumably not appropriate to ask if their invisible illness can cause death. Death can be a sensitive subject for anyone, especially for chronic illness patients. Avoid damaging your relationship with them by steering clear of this type of question.
Have you tried X, Y, and Z to cure your chronic illness?
Chronic illnesses are typically not curable but are manageable with the proper treatments. Unfortunately, people with chronic diseases receive unwanted advice about supplements, diets, and yoga that can “cure” them. Therefore, it’s crucial to avoid offering unsolicited advice about their condition.
Can you still have kids?
Family planning is a private topic that many may not be open to discussing. For certain chronic conditions, patients may face difficulties with fertility. Yet, that is not the case for all chronic illness patients. Unless you have a tight-knit relationship in which it’s okay to talk about family planning, it’s best to take this topic off the table.
Although you may ask the most appropriate questions, you may still get some pullback. Some people are uncomfortable sharing details about their health, which is okay. If they only provide short answers or don't seem interested in the conversation, stop asking questions. Instead, end the conservation and reassure them that you’re here for them if they need someone to talk to.
How Chronius Can Help
If living with chronic illness feels like a full time job, you aren’t alone.
That’s why at Chronius, we make it easy to navigate the healthcare system as a patient. Our online care management platform brings together all of your health records and offers a 1-click appointment prep tool that easily synthesizes your health story for your care team. You also can track all of your symptoms, identify trends, learn from vetted medical information, and follow a custom patient journey map. Plus, if you needs hands on support, our Care Advocates are available to help you with any issues you may hit up against. Personalized support as you navigate your care journey is what we are all about.
Interested in learning more and signing up for our waitlist? Claim your spot today.
